traveled to Costa Rica, to spend a week working with a church in the barrio of San Jose. being my second time there, the faces were some familiar, some new, but the scenery remained the same. dirt, sewage, marijuana - and the smiles of kids whose faces disguise a growing awareness of how hard life is.
the trip was construction, the centerpiece being the installation of two hot water heaters to provide the kitchen and pastor's 'house' hot water. the installation was tricky - costa rican building standards being interesting to say the least - but with perseverance, prayer, and talent the mission was accomplished.
the morning after the hot water heaters were installed, Christian (one of the two pastors) told us that he gave his nine-month old daughter a bath in warm water for the first time in her life. now, the sink was concrete and dirty by american standards. But for the first time the water was warm, and maybe life a little better for all of them.
on the trip I was the banker. i knew the budget and the resources we had to work with, but when i heard the story about Christian and his daughter i started re-thinking what this mission effort was 'worth.' in one sense, the trip has an economic value - I can tell you the money that was spent and how much each tool or piece of equipment cost. as true as this economic view might be, faith tells me the worth is far more. Jesus, while he certainly knew his dollars and cents, also knew that 'worth' in heaven has a far greater meaning. in heaven, kindness, mercy, and love of neighbor are the only measures of value. in fact, He might say that anything without these virtues has no value, or worse a negative one.
so what was our mission trip worth? i am not sure, but i am rethinking what has value and it is leading my, i believe, to understanding Jesus more.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Thursday, January 3, 2008
An Influential Truth
Over last weekend I saw I am Legend with Will Smith. In the movie, the song Three Little Birds by Bob Marley plays an influential role in the philosophy of Smith's character, Dr. Robert Neville. As Will Smith sang with the song, I remembered that in another movie, Shark Tale, Will Smith (who is the voice of the main character) makes another attempt to sing Three Little Birds - two different movies, same actor, same song. My guess? Bob Marley is an influence on Will Smith.
Influences emerge. There are obvious sources of influences - suddenly I find myself talking like my father. Other influences can be subtle, I find myself singing a song because it has a deeper meaning for me or reciting a quote from an author or a film. Recently on my ipod I was listening to a song by Skillet, The Older I Get. I found myself instinctively at first, hitting the back button to listen to the song over and over as I ran on the treadmill. After about the third or fourth time it hit me - this song has something to say to me. The lyric that hits me is;
The older I get
Will I get over it?
It's been way too long for the times we missed
I didn't know then it would hurt like this but I think
The older I get
Maybe I'll get over it
It's been way too long for the times we missed
I can't believe it still hurts like this
Why? I think it is because the greatest regret I have is missing what God wanted to me to know or do, by having done something else. While I can make up for much, I have yet to discover how to reclaim time.
The song is an influence...and while I know that Jesus is an influence on me, and through him I can find all of life that has been lost and more....I think I will wait until a later blog to explore the realities of regret and time lost.
For now I am listening to Skillet and Bob Marley's Three Little Birds. We will see where it goes from there.
Influences emerge. There are obvious sources of influences - suddenly I find myself talking like my father. Other influences can be subtle, I find myself singing a song because it has a deeper meaning for me or reciting a quote from an author or a film. Recently on my ipod I was listening to a song by Skillet, The Older I Get. I found myself instinctively at first, hitting the back button to listen to the song over and over as I ran on the treadmill. After about the third or fourth time it hit me - this song has something to say to me. The lyric that hits me is;
The older I get
Will I get over it?
It's been way too long for the times we missed
I didn't know then it would hurt like this but I think
The older I get
Maybe I'll get over it
It's been way too long for the times we missed
I can't believe it still hurts like this
Why? I think it is because the greatest regret I have is missing what God wanted to me to know or do, by having done something else. While I can make up for much, I have yet to discover how to reclaim time.
The song is an influence...and while I know that Jesus is an influence on me, and through him I can find all of life that has been lost and more....I think I will wait until a later blog to explore the realities of regret and time lost.
For now I am listening to Skillet and Bob Marley's Three Little Birds. We will see where it goes from there.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
An Empire of a Different Kind
I have been reading about the Roman Empire of late, particularly of Caesar Augustus, the leader under whom Rome achieved a stature that the world had never witnessed before. It was an incredible empire, powerful and advanced in every way.
As I read of Augustus' life, I wonder, 'how in the world would I keep my ego in check if I literally ruled the world?' Many of the Caesars took the step of proclaiming themselves to be gods, and who could argue? Caesars ruled with great power. Rome could not be conquered. I wonder what there would be within us to put a border on our ego if there were no external borders placed on our power? When I am defeated I am humbled, but with all success and power what would limit my thoughts about myself? It seems power fed the egos of the Caesars - perhaps in a way the world had never seen.
I think of this, because into this Roman Empire Jesus was born. Yes, it was on the fringe. But Jesus, as his followers would be - was born into this empire, and interestingly within it, he would build an empire of a different kind. It would surpass Rome's in its size and power, it would claim more citizens than Rome ever knew, and it would also have limits. In building his kingdom Jesus keeps our egos in check by reminding us that his kingdom is based on words like humility and service, forgiveness and mercy. These words deflate the ego, even defeat it.
Letting my mind wander, I confess that I have tried often to turn my life into my own pathetic little empire and as it has been built taken the ego ride that comes with it - a pep-rally of my own importance. I hope that Christmas returns me again to the basics. Life is about Jesus and the values he taught - and really it is in his empire I want to find a place.
Happy Birthday, Jesus. I am glad that you are here.
As I read of Augustus' life, I wonder, 'how in the world would I keep my ego in check if I literally ruled the world?' Many of the Caesars took the step of proclaiming themselves to be gods, and who could argue? Caesars ruled with great power. Rome could not be conquered. I wonder what there would be within us to put a border on our ego if there were no external borders placed on our power? When I am defeated I am humbled, but with all success and power what would limit my thoughts about myself? It seems power fed the egos of the Caesars - perhaps in a way the world had never seen.
I think of this, because into this Roman Empire Jesus was born. Yes, it was on the fringe. But Jesus, as his followers would be - was born into this empire, and interestingly within it, he would build an empire of a different kind. It would surpass Rome's in its size and power, it would claim more citizens than Rome ever knew, and it would also have limits. In building his kingdom Jesus keeps our egos in check by reminding us that his kingdom is based on words like humility and service, forgiveness and mercy. These words deflate the ego, even defeat it.
Letting my mind wander, I confess that I have tried often to turn my life into my own pathetic little empire and as it has been built taken the ego ride that comes with it - a pep-rally of my own importance. I hope that Christmas returns me again to the basics. Life is about Jesus and the values he taught - and really it is in his empire I want to find a place.
Happy Birthday, Jesus. I am glad that you are here.
Monday, December 10, 2007
A Story on the Line
This week in politics spiritual stories have figured prominently, from Mitt Romney's Morminism which is controversial to many Christians to Oprah Winfrey's recalling Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s Christian convictions that further opened up African American political participation. In our political campaigns, perhaps in an unrivaled way, the faith lives of candidates have been asked about and spoken of intensely. If you want to know more, take a look at the Pew Forum (www.pewforum.org) and there you will find the spiritual stories of all of our political candidates.
My question is this: if you were on the campaign trail and asked about your faith, what would you say? It is easy to take a shot at the faith of others, without putting yourself on the line. As I think about it, Jesus criticized certain aspects of the faith of others but he also told people what he believed. Jesus did not like the lack of charity or the spiritual boasting of the Pharisees, but while Jesus was confronting the Pharisees he was also open and honest about who he was and what he was about. This is part of why I like Jesus' style so much - he confronted others, and was honest about his own story.
So this is the challenge - write your own story and email it to the loft (anixon@loftchurch.com). What do you believe, and what has shaped you to believe as you do? You might find that in writing the story you will learn a lot about God and you - and will be able to have a more interesting conversation with those who have put their faith out there for all to see.
My question is this: if you were on the campaign trail and asked about your faith, what would you say? It is easy to take a shot at the faith of others, without putting yourself on the line. As I think about it, Jesus criticized certain aspects of the faith of others but he also told people what he believed. Jesus did not like the lack of charity or the spiritual boasting of the Pharisees, but while Jesus was confronting the Pharisees he was also open and honest about who he was and what he was about. This is part of why I like Jesus' style so much - he confronted others, and was honest about his own story.
So this is the challenge - write your own story and email it to the loft (anixon@loftchurch.com). What do you believe, and what has shaped you to believe as you do? You might find that in writing the story you will learn a lot about God and you - and will be able to have a more interesting conversation with those who have put their faith out there for all to see.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
What You Need is Half of What You Want
Many years ago I was traveling to Europe for an extended stay. As departure day drew closer a friend of mine gave me a piece of advice saying, 'put everything you think you need on a bed, and then get rid of half of it.' This was my first introduction to thoughtfully considering what you need.
On packing day, I took the advice - everything I thought I needed on a bed. There was a lot - music, books, momentos from home...American food - basically it was my life stateside piled up along with clothes, toiletries, etc... The pile was far beyond the dimensions of any luggage, and a private 747 was not feasible.
What I then discovered has stayed with me - there are layers of want. I want this as a luxury, I want that as a convenience, I want this to be 'in' with others - and when you go through the discipline of getting rid of half what is obvious is that in reality I do not need much. Today, I have much more than I will ever need.
So I divided my stuff in two. Later - once I was in Europe - I happened upon a second truth. Because of discipline earlier, I had space for a few things to bring back to give to friends. Because I had 'done with less' I had the chance to come home with more.
Over the years, I have found God to work in a like manner. When I make space in my life through sacrifice, God has the room in me to give more. God can bless others because there is room in my life for God, and the irony is that being a blessing for someone else gives me more joy than anything that I could pack my life with. Go figure...
On packing day, I took the advice - everything I thought I needed on a bed. There was a lot - music, books, momentos from home...American food - basically it was my life stateside piled up along with clothes, toiletries, etc... The pile was far beyond the dimensions of any luggage, and a private 747 was not feasible.
What I then discovered has stayed with me - there are layers of want. I want this as a luxury, I want that as a convenience, I want this to be 'in' with others - and when you go through the discipline of getting rid of half what is obvious is that in reality I do not need much. Today, I have much more than I will ever need.
So I divided my stuff in two. Later - once I was in Europe - I happened upon a second truth. Because of discipline earlier, I had space for a few things to bring back to give to friends. Because I had 'done with less' I had the chance to come home with more.
Over the years, I have found God to work in a like manner. When I make space in my life through sacrifice, God has the room in me to give more. God can bless others because there is room in my life for God, and the irony is that being a blessing for someone else gives me more joy than anything that I could pack my life with. Go figure...
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
A Perfect Match
Christmas is about opposites. It is one of the holiest times of the year and the most self-indulgent. It is the time of year where we think about giving, yet most of the people that we give to will also give to us. Christmas is the most powerful season of the year, and it centers around a baby - powerless in every way. Christmas is a time of contradictions.
This contradictory time of year is in part because of the high standard Christmas sets. Christmas, personally, is an ideal. Christmas is the day where, for only a moment, life stops and we have the chance to enjoy what God has done for us. I suppose other days should be like this too - every Sunday...easter...wedding days and birthdays. Yet, nothing is like Christmas. Christmas is the time where I think most of what a perfect world should be - celebrations, family and friends, a deep and genuine faith, a life of sharing and receiving as needed.
As I think of it, maybe the contradictions I see in Christmas are exposed in the other days of the year. Christmas, if I were a better person, could be every day. Every day a little Christmas, as Martin Luther envisioned every Sunday a little Easter. The contradictions I see are caused by the person that I am - if I change then what I see changes and what others see in life will change as well.
Maybe my Christmas hope then is to become the person that I see at Christmas, and seek the life I find at Christmas year-round. For actions and beliefs have to make a perfect match, and when that day comes more of God is easy to see. I hope this Christmas is a perfect match.
This contradictory time of year is in part because of the high standard Christmas sets. Christmas, personally, is an ideal. Christmas is the day where, for only a moment, life stops and we have the chance to enjoy what God has done for us. I suppose other days should be like this too - every Sunday...easter...wedding days and birthdays. Yet, nothing is like Christmas. Christmas is the time where I think most of what a perfect world should be - celebrations, family and friends, a deep and genuine faith, a life of sharing and receiving as needed.
As I think of it, maybe the contradictions I see in Christmas are exposed in the other days of the year. Christmas, if I were a better person, could be every day. Every day a little Christmas, as Martin Luther envisioned every Sunday a little Easter. The contradictions I see are caused by the person that I am - if I change then what I see changes and what others see in life will change as well.
Maybe my Christmas hope then is to become the person that I see at Christmas, and seek the life I find at Christmas year-round. For actions and beliefs have to make a perfect match, and when that day comes more of God is easy to see. I hope this Christmas is a perfect match.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
The Biggest Lie I Have Had to Contend With
It is my favorite line in Blue Like Jazz, maybe one of my favorites of all time. I like it because it is true for me. Ask me about my life and I can tell you that this quote is my story as it is Donald Miller's and others. Here it is: the biggest lie that I have ever had to contend with is that life is a story about me.
Now, I like me. In fact, I like me a lot - but for a long time I thought that life was a story about me, only to get confronted with the Truth.
Truth, real truth, hurts. Real truth cuts away at something that we have held onto, it may be an idea that we believed in or a philosophy, or a person that we love in an unhealthy way. We believe in something that tries to convince us that life is about us only to have capital T Truth hit us, and hit us hard. I cannot remember the day when I decided that life was a story about me, it sort of just crept into my life and grabbed a subtle but solid hold. I needed something to be the center of life - why not me?
As I re-read the quote from Blue Like Jazz, it is more about a lie than the truth. I guess that underneath the quote - and this is why I like it so much because it hints at a truth rather than saying it - is it's power. Here is that: the biggest truth that I have ever had to contend with is that life is a story about Jesus Christ.
He is the Truth.
The more I believe and understand that life is a story about Jesus, the better off I am. I am, really, a story about him. And the more I get to know Jesus the more I realize how much better I am and the world is when it is a story about Jesus. As I go through today, I will ask, 'how can I make this story, my story, about Jesus?'
As I live this out I become new, and at least so far that is no lie.
Now, I like me. In fact, I like me a lot - but for a long time I thought that life was a story about me, only to get confronted with the Truth.
Truth, real truth, hurts. Real truth cuts away at something that we have held onto, it may be an idea that we believed in or a philosophy, or a person that we love in an unhealthy way. We believe in something that tries to convince us that life is about us only to have capital T Truth hit us, and hit us hard. I cannot remember the day when I decided that life was a story about me, it sort of just crept into my life and grabbed a subtle but solid hold. I needed something to be the center of life - why not me?
As I re-read the quote from Blue Like Jazz, it is more about a lie than the truth. I guess that underneath the quote - and this is why I like it so much because it hints at a truth rather than saying it - is it's power. Here is that: the biggest truth that I have ever had to contend with is that life is a story about Jesus Christ.
He is the Truth.
The more I believe and understand that life is a story about Jesus, the better off I am. I am, really, a story about him. And the more I get to know Jesus the more I realize how much better I am and the world is when it is a story about Jesus. As I go through today, I will ask, 'how can I make this story, my story, about Jesus?'
As I live this out I become new, and at least so far that is no lie.
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